Saying “WhateverFest OH-Number.” Hiccup Fest 07, Bake Fest 05-09, Hippie Fest 08, Garlic Fest 09, Flea Fest 09, etc. I don’t know what I’m going to do in January. “1-OH” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Heat up small frying pan. Put bacon in pan. Cook over moderate heat until fat renders from bacon and bacon looks just on the “not done” side of chewy - this probably takes 3 minutes. Add onions and garlic and reduce heat - cook, stirring every now and then, until onions are soft and almost translucent. This will take a while - while you’re waiting, scramble the eggs together with the grated cheese. When the onions look done, throw in the spinach and stir it around with all of the other things until the leaves turn bright green and start to wilt. When the spinach is moderately wilty, pour the egg and cheese mixture over the contents of the pan and stir around, taking care not to let the eggs stick to the bottom of the pan. Keep the heat low and stir the eggs nearly constantly until they reach the desired level of doneness; I like mine on the runny side, but i know that not everyone does. Add salt and pepper to taste, and if you’re feeling like it needs a little extra kick (it does), top with Sriracha.
last night i couldn’t sleep because i was thinking about the chinese zodiac. it’s such a strange astrological system because it is divided up by year (starting at chinese new year) and that seems like a terribly general method of classification. the western zodiac, however, makes complete sense to me because the symbols are more familiar (virgin, scorpion, fish, etc.) and are so specific that i have had success categorizing all my friends according to those labels (liz, for example, is such an aries). but i have not yet attempted this using the chinese calander.
so by drawing upon my knowledge of animals from children’s books, movies, and personal experience, i wrote down this list to help me better judge everyone in my life. this is what i found:
- rats fuck you over
- oxen pull loads
- tigers bite but are heroic
- rabbits run away and hide (me)
- dragons breathe fire and have crazy eyes (at least in chinese culture)
- snakes chill then strike suddenly while you are sleeping
- horses stampede
- sheep are comfy
- monkeys hang out
- roosters crow at invalid hours
- dogs need to pee all the time and are only friends with men
two women in three days cried on the green bench in the park where i found a dollar folded into a boat.
i thought it was the crying bench and cried on the crying bench when it became available.
i cried by thinking of all the people who’ve never broken a shop window, not the baker’s window, the bead-seller’s, who sells beads for purposes i find hard to list: necklaces, the hanging of strings of beads in doorways, the owning of beads just in case.
breaking the shop window with a piece of shale the size of my heart, a piece of shale on which i’ve drawn my heart, not my actual heart but my feelings of my heart, since i’ve never seen my heart, would set something free.
i don’t know what that something is but it would be free.
and my heart would have survived its travels through glass, its jagged voyage through my reflection.
you can see why i cried: none of this is real.
until i can answer yes to the cop who asks, is this your heart among the ruins of your reflection? i won’t be a man, despite what my anatomy insists.
it insists that i overcome a sense of resistance when i move, that i move as long as i am able to move, and when i am unable to move, that i stop.
it would be free and look like a bird, an actual bird or a dollar folded into a bird, a dollar bird in a dollar boat.
which is to say i believe origami arrives when we need it most.
i can’t prove this but i can’t prove you’re a good person though i suspect you’re a good person.
you who opened the door
you who tipped your hat
you who ran into the fire and carried the fire safely out.